5 Easy Things You Can Do To Get Your College Life In Order

By Neelesha Dhawan

If you ask me to describe my college life in a few words, I would say it’s messy and overwhelming. And trust me, it is – for a majority of us out there. There’s constant pressure to be better, to achieve and keep achieving as much as we can. It is a never ending cycle of work, sleep, eat, repeat.

However hard it may seem to never be able to come out of this quicksand, I believe we can get our affairs in order with these five simple and easy-to-follow. Life is complicated as it is, we do not need any more complex tips to add to the confusion.

1. Download the syllabus and buy those books

Back when I was in nursery, I had a small story book about two squirrels, Kutur and Mutur. One of them, like our class toppers, was very diligent when it came to storing nuts and acorns for the cold winter months, but the other one was as lazy as us. So come winter, we can imagine what happened. Now I’m not asking you to transform into a geek. But, one of the major mistakes we make when we first start our semester is to ignore buying the material we actually need to study. This causes unnecessary stress during internals and practicals. So go, take a few hours and get your syllabus download, printed, and all the books you need, bought, and stored.

2. Decide how you want to take notes

Notes are our life savers in the exam period. Do you know the best time to start collecting notes, without rushing to the already swarmed photocopying shop? Yes, you guessed it right. MAKE YOUR OWN! I cannot tell you how relieved you will be in the prep before exams. It is not rocket science, taking good notes. Just grab a pen, and a pack of loose-leaf sheets. Write what is being taught each day in class, note it down, and read the relevant content from your textbook when you get home. Read those notes again, and add any point from the notes to your book. Or if your teacher practically dictates the stuff to you, write important bits from the book in your notes. Punch a hole, and put them away in a binder for later use. 

3. Set up your Planner

The next tip is to get a planner. Nothing fancy, just a small notebook to make daily to-do lists. You don’t have to make unnecessary lists of ‘Books to Read’, or ‘Movies to Watch’. Just plain ol’ to-dos.

4. Structure your Calendar and Plan Free Blocks of Time 

Before you run away, let me tell you that I’m not asking you to study in your chill time in between lectures. I’m just asking you to use it wisely. Read non-fiction (or fiction), listen to a podcast, watch a career related video, It’s up to you. Or, just go and play. Like, an outdoor game. Get that workout in, you’ll be wasting that gym membership anyway.

5. Reflect on your Average

If you’re starting a new semester, your results must be around the corner if they aren’t out already. I hope you did well, but if you didn’t, now is the best time to reflect. Just sit for a few minutes and teleport yourself back into the cold month of December, in that dreary examination hall. Now think, how did your paper go, honestly? Reflect, and write down two actionable steps you’ll take to not feel frozen and blank again. It is okay, we have all been there. The only thing that would make you different would be if you work on yourself and not repeat it. 

 

And while you are here, check out our article on how to create a study playlist!

Wake Up

Written by Bhavya Bhardwaj

The golden sunlight scatters across the floor, on your face, half eaten by the shadows.

But you are not looking at that, are you?

You are looking at your hands, the half chewed nails and the marks scarring your skin.
You have not slept all night, wondering what it would be like if you could just sleep and sleep.
If you could just lie your head on the pillow and shut out all those overbearing thoughts, the havoc.
Wondering if this was all just a real bad dream and it would vanish into thin air when you wake up.
Sometimes you go weeks just moaning, sleeping, or eating ice cream.
You call it “focusing on my mental health”.
Sometimes you spend your whole day wishing you would wake up with amnesia and forget about all these things. Sometimes you spend so many nights wide awake, wondering how your body does not seem to fit in your skin.

By Disha Aggarwal

We are so small, a lab rat of an experiment we never wanted to be a part of.

Why wake up and live a life we don’t want? What is the point of doing all these things I do not like, impressing people I don’t even like, working my ass off to buy things I don’t need? What is the point of getting shattered again and again? What is the point of staring into nothingness, thinking why I am not funny enough, not pretty enough, just not good enough… for like anyone?!!! If we are all so insignificant, what’s the point of going through all this?

You still wake up.

Maybe you comb your hair.
Maybe, if you have a brother like mine, you will be forced to shower regularly because he says it will make you feel at least a little clean. Maybe you will binge watch too much. Or too little. Or not at all. How does it matter anyway? In the grand scheme of things, nothing seems to matter. All that pain and misery that clings to you like a second skin can’t be washed off with ‘distractions’ or walks. But a good friend once told me that none of it matters. We’re right. But it does get better.

All this pain is an opportunity to feel something.

Our lives are just a cumulation of emotions we develop from different stimuli.

Circumstances, things we choose to do, decisions we make, the lives we lead.
Maybe there is no point in waking up. But since euthanasia isn’t legal yet and there’s no other way to live this life, maybe it is worth a shot to do new things and see how they turn out. If we have already made so many mistakes, it is worth going through a ton of another set of terrible ones only to see what the outcome would be like. If we are constantly so afraid of change, we will never see what we can become. It can not really get worse, can it?

The worst possible outcome is death. Maybe heartbreak. But we are not afraid of either anymore.

So maybe the point in waking up in the morning is just to see the golden sunlight dancing on the floor, the shadows they create. Light against dark.
You don’t have to do much to see it all.

You just have to wake up.

Featured image by Snigdha

Creating the Ultimate Study Playlist

By Neelesha Dhawan

The days we spend buried under piles of notes and being high on coffee are here. It is very easy to lose focus and go binge watching Netflix or stalk people on social media.

So here are a few soundtracks that will help you gear up for your study routine and focus a lot more on getting
stuff done.

Via Pinterest

1. No Bollywood Songs

I know, I know. Bollywood songs are love! But not when you are trying to cram for History. So believe me this once, ditch them Bollywood beats like Badtameez Dil!

Via Slashgear

2. Yes to Harry Potter Themes

Accio Potterheads! So what if you can’t binge watch Harry Potter movies this month? Let’s hop on to our very own Hogwarts Express from our beloved headphones. Lose yourself in the
dreamy soundtracks of Gryffindor Common Room, the Whispers of Slytherin, the Quidditch Anthem and many more title tracks from Harry Potter.

3. Green Panthers in the Room

If you love snuggling into literature novels and history critics over a cup of coffee, these sounds are your pals. Sounds like chirping of birds, rustling of leaves, rains and thunderstorms, winds
and crashing waves are definitely your thing to stay focused. Sounds like Tibetan temple bells are my personal favourite and highly recommended!

Via time.com

4. Classics

Classics are always the best to listen to while studying. The soft acoustics and no-lyrics tracks are amazingly good to set the mood and motivate you to open your books and get to work.

5. Disney Buffs

This is a wonderful time to listen to all those old Disney soundtracks. They are gentle, calm, a little upbeat and do a really splendid job of calming your nerves.

Say goodbye to the pre-exam jitters with these tracks!

This article is a part of a weekly series of articles aimed at aiding college students make better use of the opportunities available to them alongside enriching their studying techniques. Feel free to reach out at dneelesha@gmail.com for suggestions and feedback.

The Story of Mehfooz: A Queer Collective

Mehfooz. Safety. Protection. Acceptance. All these words have come to be synonymous to me. What started as a simple idea in celebration of the Supreme Court ruling has turned into something beyond beautiful over the course of one year.

When we look back at the past year in terms of what Mehfooz has evolved to be, these words by our co-founder sum up our thoughts perfectly.

In school, college is marketed as this space where we can be as free as the wind. But what everyone fails to mention is that for a lot of us, this freedom is not a given. It is sorely conditional, and until and unless we resolve to carve it out of the norm, we are doomed to obscurity.

Via Google

Queer people are accused of being too in the face, of always showing up with an agenda, of shoving our gayness down the throats of unsuspecting straights.

But when I look back at my life before Mehfooz, and in some ways even today, I only see obscurity. I see the refusal to assert myself, I see the fear of consequences. I see hoards of faces, but no sign of familiarity. Or family.

We have seen a lot of students come out to us and claim how crucial it was to have a space where they can just be themselves, without any fear of being something they’re not.

I went from someone who used to think I would never come out to anyone to having found a family within the college and the members of Mehfooz.

Mehfooz came out to be a brainchild of the three of us. That is the simple version.

But the truth is, it is the culmination of a host of wins and challenges that we as a community, have surpassed for centuries and centuries.

From the queer collectives of other colleges in the university or otherwise, we drew solidarity. We were able to say that yes, our dissent is strong enough to withstand disapproval.

They gave us hope – we thought, yes – our chosen family will be just as loving.

Anindya Chattopadhyay/TOI

And it was the collective efforts of activists, writers, poets, reformists all over the world who have kept us going ever since. Because they did it first, things have been more promising for us, in a lot of aspects.

I remember how I was scouring Google in order to find a name for this space, this collective, last year. I wanted the name to reflect the kind of qualities we were going to bring to it.

I wanted the name to say, you are safe here. Here, you are protected. Here, you are accepted.

And thus, creating a safe space has been our priority right from the start.

It has been amazing to be a part of the start of something like Mehfooz which has allowed the queer kids a place to come be themselves and voice their thoughts and fears and dreams. How we unburden ourselves at every meeting.

Through our discussions and various events, we wish to enable our members to be kinder, more receptive, and understanding when it comes to the lives and realities of queer people everywhere. As Nazariya- A Queer Feminist Resource Group puts it, our “lived realities are non-negotiable.”

Today, we are a proud and growing family that is built upon trust, acceptance, and solidarity. Spaces like Mehfooz truly work wonders. They build us up, they instill in us the courage to articulate our own self, our anger, and our struggles in a way that brings us closer to ourselves, and everyone who’s listening.

Anindya Chattopadhyay/TOI

And most importantly, they let us know, time and again, that we are absolutely not alone in our journeys.

If you wish to be part of Mehfooz in any way or form, you can find us on Instagram @mehfooz.qc.

Featured image: AFP/Getty Images

Are you internship ready?

Written by Disha Aggarwal

Photograph taken by Saumya Sharma

The different colors of a rainbow have their own significance and teachings. For example, red is a symbol of love and affection, and orange is a symbol of strength. Similarly, an internship is not merely something that you have to do for marks or just for building your resume. It is to boost you through the process and develop your skills.

Have a look at the structure below:

I – Idea

N – Nurture

T – Time optimist

E- Educational

R – Responsibility

N – New Fashioned

S – Skilled

H- Hardworking

I – Imagination

P – Perspective

So, an internship is something that has an idea, it is there to nurture you, it teaches you how to manage your time, and it educates you. You start understanding your responsibilities and you get to know the new trends in the field you are willing to work in even in the future.

After completing an internship, people count you in as a skilled person. You understand what hard work really is. You boost your imagination and give a new angle to it. You start viewing things from a very different perspective.

BASIC REQUIREMENTS:

A few days back I was going through a few quotes over the internet and I came across this one:

“If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.”

From this quote, pick two words: ‘will’ and ‘determination’.

Think a bit about them and you will get to know what you need. You need will to pursue something and determination to go through it.

And this will and determination are also attached to your passion. All you need for an internship are will, determination, patience, and passion.

If you have a passion for what you are pursuing then the other three things will follow.

Finding An Internship

You definitely need to make an effort to find an internship. If you are lucky enough the opportunity might fall at your doorstep, otherwise it might take some time to find the appropriate one.

Here are some experiences of a student currently studying at our college (Shyama Prasad Mukerji College for Women, Delhi University).

Neelesha is currently pursuing Economics Honors, and has done a lot of internships.

She says that initially, she had no clue about how to start or where to find an internship. She simply made a Google search on how to do internships and in the very first link, she saw Internshala and made an account there.

The other thing she says is that students must look for collaborations. Like if there is an event happening in the college, then it might be sponsored by someone. If you like their work, search about them on the Internet, message them over Instagram or email them. If they have any job position available they generally ask for a resume or a telephonic interview. Having contacts with your seniors can also help. As she knew some of her seniors who were in other Delhi University colleges, she asked them about internships and they would let her know of any opportunities.

We have another student, Simrah who is currently pursuing BA Programme and is in her third year.

She did her internship in social work. So she says that near her house, there is a slum area of Zakhira and there is a collective named Kiran. It teaches these children. The work of an intern there is to spread awareness about a child’s growth and development.
She goes on to say that finding an internship can be difficult especially when you are not from a technical background. The requirement is thus to be aware of the things around you and consult your teachers and seniors, as they can definitely help you out.

I myself did an internship of content writing. It was a work from home internship that I found on Internshala. Initially, I was rejected by a lot of companies, mostly because of lack of prior experience, and there was a point where I left hope. But then after some time, I tried again and finally made it!

Resume and Application

So when it comes to resume and application, there is no need to panic. It is very obvious that at the initial stage you might not have many things to mention in your resume, but there are companies who do hire freshers and you need to keep looking for them.

Also as Neelesha says, when we apply through our emails to various different organizations and try to reach them it should be important that the initial lines should be catchy and you should clearly talk about yourself and your motives, otherwise they might not be interested in reading your email further.

So we see that it is not only the resume that builds things up for you, but also your application and the way you approach them.

Resumes play a great role when you are applying for reputed companies.

On a personal note, I suggest that when you apply for a more reputed company, it should be your second or third internship as they prefer candidates with prior experience. Make sure that your resume has diversity; it should not stick to one field. But at the same time, do not hesitate to apply for a position at bigger companies. Shoot for the moon, remember?

Settling In

According to Snigdha, who is doing a content writing internship, it might take a bit of time to adjust in the routine. But it would not seem hectic or as a burden, if you truly love what you do.

They also say that you should not hesitate to ask about things from your employer as you are giving them your time and services. At the very start of the internship, make your terms of conditions clear, read the appointment letter very carefully and then sign it, negotiate the terms with them if you want to, as they would definitely consider your angle also.

Letter Of Recommendation And Certificate

Even if you are not getting a paid internship, make sure that you get an internship which gives you a letter of recommendation and certificate. They act as proof that you have worked there.

As Simrah says, you should ask beforehand about the certificate and letter of recommendation from the company or employers to avoid confusion at the last minute.

The things we have discussed above are just the basics of finding and settling into an internship. We will make a more detailed analysis and talk to more students and share their internship experiences with you.
In the next part of this series, we will discuss some tips that will help you get an internship and smoothly flow through it.

The Politics of a Woman’s Surname after Marriage

By Bhavya Bhardwaj

Indian society is deeply patriarchal. But be that as it may, it is also a society that has absorbed into its own culture and customs laws received from other jurisdictions.

Hence we are bestowed with the gift of marriage under the Constitution. Therefore, any marriage so contracted under the Act is statutory and must be governed by the laws that created the same.

While issues of divorce or inheritance are largely in direct consonance with the marriage contracted by parties involved, the issue of name-taking or name changing finds no strength under the Marriage Act or any other laws in India. Hence a woman taking up her husband’s name remains a matter of choice and/or of custom.

Generally, in India and in some other cultures, women are simply expected to take up the name of their husband upon marriage. It is taken as a given that she will change her last name, or in some communities, her first name too after marriage.

There are many reasons, one of which is the uniformity it creates in the identity of the parties. In some cultures, the husband assumes the role of legal guardian of a woman and so the woman “must” bear his name.

It is interesting to note the absurd double standard here – the onus of proving fidelity, commitment and a whole bunch of other moral responsibilities are placed only on the woman. Never for a moment is the husband’s fidelity or commitment brought into question.

With changing times, many women are not taking the names of their husbands.

For some women, it is simply a matter of convenience. Their names have been reflected on so many documents and accounts that it would be very tedious to go through with this change legally.

Some women choose to retain their family names to maintain the link to their family, especially in situations where all the children in that family are female, for example, the Kardashian sisters, who adopted a compound name to maintain their family identity.

Others choose to keep their family name due to the reputation attached to it and may add it as a prefix to their husband’s name.

When the majority of folks here believe it is “only proper and right” for a woman to take up her husband’s name, that a failure to do so supposedly implies a lack of commitment on her part to the marriage, it perpetuates a culture of policing a woman’s decision in this matter. It overlooks all social and personal boundaries in the process and seeks to somehow guilt the woman if she goes against its expectation.

The most recent example of it being actress Deepika Padukone’s. She defied the “two shall become one at the cost of the woman’s identity” doctrine.

For Padukone, her name is her identity, and as she says and is well evident, something she has worked very hard to establish. But of course, it didn’t stop people on the internet from giving their two cents regarding how inappropriate they deemed her decision to be.

It is dangerous for any woman to lose her identity to marriage. You are a force unto yourself. Name taking or not doesn’t change these truths.

That said, people should also support a woman’s choice to change her surname for whatever reason. People may think the reason is silly, but she should have the liberty to do what she wants with her surname.

Because either way, it is her decision. Because to respect her decision is to respect her.

The Belonging

By  Bhavya Bhardwaj
I have always belonged,
Belonged to someone before I was even my own.
We raise women from the womb in preparation of her ownership.
She is his,
before she is hers.
The clock is set,
Her time as her own is limited.
She isn’t taught to love herself,
because someone will eventually love her.
And we wonder why women are so broken.
Because we are raised to be pieces of wood
Waiting to be put together.

When being You is a crime…

By – DISHA AGGARWAL

Painted By – AMRITA SHER-GIL (Group of Three Girls, 1935)

 

I was six when I asked my mother,
“Were you happy when you had me, as happy as
you were to have my brother ?”
Laughing she replied, “Of course darling, I was.
You both are equal for me.”
At the age of ten,  I asked her, “Do you love me as much as
you love my brother?”
Calmly she replied “ Of course why wouldn’t I,
you are my blood.
When at 14, I asked my father,
“Were you cool about my birth ?”
My father said teasingly, “ Everyone wants a boy as their first child but I was the happiest to hold you in my arms.
“Oh !” I replied, a little hesitant.
I wonder why?
Was it mere teasing, or all too genuine to wish for a guy?
At 17, I asked them,
“Do you still love me, or is it just pretend?
Day in and day out, am I a burden to tend ?”
They both seemed angry,
perhaps I triggered something in them.
My father dismissed me with a, “Concentrate on your studies! ”
One afternoon I overheard the elders,
” It’s important for girls to be educated.”
I felt so content; at least someone thought the same.
But I guess it was too good to last long,
For then, she said, “It’s impossible to find a suitable groom these days,
everyone wants a working woman.”
Today I turned 19, and can’t seem to figure out,
Is education qualification for marital unification?
Do parents have any other goal than turning you into marriage material?
Why should being beautiful be my only dream?

FLARE UP – THE PASSION

By   Arshiya Chahal

Illustrated By   Arshiya Chahal

 
When the boundless enthusiasm and immense desire,
The ardent love and inner fire,
The wistful hunger and the blazing flame within,
And the colossal charisma which always brings a grin,
Are blended in each moment, be it formidable or easy,
Then even the hardest of the things turn out to be simple and breezy.
When life is glimpsed upon as though our favorite show on television,
When we get engrossed in each and every scene,
When the devotion and interest are generated on their own,
And the energetic determination to outshine is grown,
And when your passion tells you to face the jeering throng alone,
That is when in your life, true passion is shown.
Many possess the passion for certain specific things,
But only a few attain achievements, adding to their amorousness.
Ones who hold the fire within, but the times they cannot withstand
Let their fire become ashes and smoke, and it happens all unplanned.
But those who have the yearning, burning flame of desire inside,
In them does the real glow of fire reside.
Passion is where the heart flows,
It is one’s real desire from the nose to the toes.
It is doing what one wants to do, what one likes to do,
It is not something one has been made to forcefully pursue.
As life is not only about creating oneself,
It is also about finding the passion of your life, the Real Yourself.

I Want To Fly

By Prerna Sharma

Image Source: Pinterest              

 

I want to fly

Higher and higher,

Like a bird.

 

I want to fly

Without restrictions,

Where no one else can stop me.

 

I want to live my life to the fullest,

A life no one will interrupt.

 

I want someone to motivate me to fly,

Not someone who will cut my wings.

 

I want to achieve my dreams,

I don’t want to stop,

I don’t want to get back on the ground ever again.

 

I’ll fly here and there,

Like a bird and never come back

To this grouchy world.

 

I want to fly,

Higher and higher,

Like a bird.